Submission

We all have to at some point sumit to someone or something ....

I just went through some thing that showed me submission is not that bad at all cause i used to believe that if i submit that i would not have control of the situation.... and i had to trust another and that was difficult for me cause I'm a control freak ..... if i run things then if any thing goes wrong i know where... but to trust ...... that takes something out of me ...... well it turned out better with me sub missing .... if has bonded us all closer ... for my one act of submission has help so many ... yesterday my daughter school had called .. and basically said that she had been skipping school.. and i want to just ground , take everything away , and beat her butt,, i was so angry .. and i needed to run around and get stuff done ... and my husband called me while i was out and said "NO" we are not going to do any thing ... just wait till we can get all the facts .. and talk to the school again ... after we talk to her ... i agreed reluctantly ... I let her now where is was on it and where her father was also and he was protecting her was my thought and i was mad .... but i agreed and today i called the school and found out there was a misunderstanding .....she was there just not where they thought but if i did not listen or submit to my husband and told everything and beat her butt .. that would have been much worse for our relationship ... at this point i need to do is say I'm "SORRY" for calling her a lier .. that hurts and we can heal that hurt more then if i did what i wanted to ..... So i thank god for the husband i have now .... he is not so quick to jump now and he finds counsel from god ... that is what god wants us to do and yes submit to each other .. but men are held more accountable with the family as they are suppose to be leaders of the family .... i just glad god told me to just listen to him on things and then decide and god listens to us and our hearts and gives such mercy and some time we need to just listen and then show mercy ...... we are to try to walk like god ... yes we are dirty rotten filth but god has such mercy even when we do wrong why? not show it to others when they are seem to do wrong ... not that we as parents show not discipline but when we jump the gun because of pass behaviors ..... we need to apologize also ... just cause they are kids doesn't mean that they DONT have feeling and we are to mold them to be good adults and as adults we need to mold humility and feelings also .... so they don't become hard adults cause it is not bad to show mistakes and the human side of us cause none of us are perfect in any way .... God loves us and show us love but sometimes love also shows us are imperfections to clean us up .... and some times it is painful but it is for out own good ... just like we are with our children .......

GOD LOVES YOU AND ME AND JUST CAUSE IT IS ALL NOT FUZZY FEELING DOESN'T MEAN HE DOESN'T LOVE US ........

HE DIED FOR YOU AND ME SO WE DIDN'T HAVE TO .... OR BE PUNISHED FOR LITTLE THING WE DO .....

GOD 'S GRACE

GOD'S MERCY

GOD'S LOVE THAT MEANS SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!

Rejected

At some point in all of our lives we have felt rejected and that is a horrible feeling.

I have felt this several times in my life ...like with my father it seemed that the people of his church was the most important thing in his life and have always felt unworthy of his love cause i just haven't been the perfect child in so many ways .... which all of them have a left some kind of scar or pain ..... with my husband the cycle has continued ...... first it was just little things he didn't like and then it turned ...... towards abuse or physical ... mental ... self -esteem .... i lost my self with in him some how ..... i would do any thing he wanted .... I MEAN ANYTHING ......i lost my self and no worth .....that is least what i believed ..... sometimes with abuse its hard to believe any one or any thing that is positive ... because of NO SELF-ESTEEM......... well I'm still here but.... through gods LOVE ...... BIG DADDY'S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE ........ i am about to open a center to help the broken .... The first thing is ABUSE is never your FAULT ... you can not take reasonable for others actions .. ... and when we all die we have to answer for our actions not everyone Else's ...... just at the same time ......we did not ask to be hit or yelled at or abused in any other way ..... and god never intended you or i to be a beating post .... as you believe you are perfectly made just the way god intended ..... long /short hair tall /short ....skinny / pleasantly plump what ever .... god uses you right where you at even in the mix of things....... The second thing is PEOPLE CAN ONLY LOVE YOU IN THE COMPASSITY THEY KNOW and if they don't know how to love that is not your fault either .... that was such a release...Once i started to let go of the burden of everything ... i begin to have self esteem and they released the past and let go of it ... i have left the abuse several times and the only thing that keeps me from enduring rotten relationships any more is gods love nothing can compare and he only want what is good and right for me so i always check it with god now .... i can see there is a positive future for myself and other.... when god first gave me a vision i thought i was suppose to walk right into it cause i could see it so clear.. and a person told me i have to heal from my own situation before i could open any doors ....to my center that is and now .... i getting started on it ... i had to go through the healing process and it wasn't easy but needed very need to be able to help others ... still working on so much but ......GOD IS IN CONTROL NOW ..... and it is alot easier ......... THANK YOU JESUS .................for im fianlly feeling like i have a chance in life and i know a good one at that ...healing is never wanted but always needed so god can build the foundation cause without a good foundation the house will always fall ...... yeah god will be there but it is easier to build soild and falls from there vs. no foundation at all or a weak one ...

Where it all started

My adult walk started in 2003 ,I was living in Tampa.Fl. and my husband and i were not getting along . It was May 13,2003 he went to empty the trash and fell and broke his neck . I don't know but during the next 3 months i don't know how i lived i don't even remember .... In august the school was starting again ...I was concerned on how i was going to get the supplies i needed for my children starting school ... 3 in school and 1 at home whom was a year .. I went to a church called Without Walls International in Tampa .Fl. the pastors that were there was Randy and Paula White ..... You may have heard of Paula on T.V. I was sitting there waiting on one for the out reach persons and well i had to leave cause she never showed..... broken like no other ... See the drive there i was using the last of my gas and was in hope that they would help my children .. As i was leaving this man ..said.. lady lady and i stop to find out if he was talking to me and he was of course there was no one else was around... He had told me sorry for the the inconvenience and the woman was in a car accident .... i felt bad then but- - - -
He said he had shoes for my children and i was so grateful and asked me to come back that night it was a Thursday and they had services on Thursday nights and i told him i would try ..... I knew the situation no gas--- no money -- and no way to make it happen --- lived in a town with no family and really no way of resources ..... I was so broken ...... I stared praying on the way home cause i wanted to go to the services so badly ..... and the gas gage started to move up towards full .....what a blessing and i wasn't even saved at that point ...... I was so happy i could go and my children were so happy to have new shoes ...... i have never seen children so happy over the things that were needed but at the time i could not even provide the needs ... needless to say ... i have continue to walk and hope to be a blessing also ...

Two worlds

the walk between two worlds is not an easy task ... meaning walking with god and satan trying to take me out and the people know....my mother is a witch and my father is a pastor.My sister is luke warm because she does not understand that it is spiritual warfare..well she has been exposed to both but she still doesn't understand ... what a confusing mess.... I love all my family members but it is hard to honor my parents ... You honor your mother and father . That is the only commandment that has blessing with it. Cause god blesses those whom honor their parents ... So I honor the best i know how.